I Dream of Aud (1965)

It was a weird dream. I was decked out in the light brown/beige Hwa Chu uniform and was wandering the assembly grounds of what I now recall to be Tao Nan School. There were hundreds of students there and on closer look, they were people I knew. Of particular notice, the Tataps were there. As a group. Not long after saying hi, the music started and the national anthem played.

Only it wasn't the national anthem.

I can't remember the music now but I saw the lines of students moving. If I weren't mistaken, they were either Bollywood dancing or linedancing. And I was moving too. Except that I think I looked more like I was performing the Great Singapore Workout.

After that unnerving experience, we were dismissed and I wandered the school grounds aimlessly. Scours of students were around and I wandered to this part of the school which resembled the corridor outside the current Law Library. That's when I looked up and saw Aud. She was being nice and said something that I couldn't hear. But it seemed like I understood her. Something about contacting the BLE.

My God. Even in my dream I was preoccupied about my bloody PLC. I felt this strange feeling that something was very wrong. I started to be aware of my surroundings and that it was rather... unnatural. Especially so was the fact that I was in school uniform and I think I was supposed to be in my PLC! Immediately I whipped out my handphone and dialed the number to the BLE (I stored it on my handphone okay~) Immediately the first thing I heard was "Is this that girl from just now? Is she calling back again? That Aud? Tell her her application is not ready yet, don't be so gan cheong."

That was weird. Frantically I tried to tell them "this has got to be a mistake! I don't belong here!" I was put on hold as they checked my particulars (which oddly enough I didn't give them) and then...

I woke up.

9:00 AM and the alarm was ringing.

Halfway through the first seminar of the day, I messaged Aud and told her that I dreamt of her. And of the dancing. She was nice enough to reply that she didn't mind a night out dancing if that was what I meant. But what I really meant to illustrate when I texted her was that I now believe that men can tell a girl that she was the girl in their dreams (the night before), and not have a sexual connotation to it.

In fact it was strangely bizarre. Hur hur hur.

Poking around online in search of the meaning of the bizarre dancing in my dream, I found this:

"To dream that you are dancing, signifies freedom from constraints and harmony/balance with yourself. You are working in cooperation with yourself. It also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. Alternatively, it may signify intimacy and a union of the masculine and feminine aspects of yourself.

To dream that you are attending or going to a dance, indicates a celebration and your attempts to achieve happiness. Consider the phrase the "dance of life" which suggests creation, ecstasy, and going with what life has to offer you.

To see children dancing in your dream, signifies that you will have a comfortable home, and healthy, well-behaved children in the future.

To see ritualistic dancing in your dream, denotes your need to get in touch with the spirit within.."

I know I'm working on something. That's for sure, but I'm not exactly happy at the moment with what life has to offer me. I THINK I saw children, is that a good sign? Was my lame attempt at dancing considered ritualistic? Hmm. If I see something supernatural tonight (within) I'll do up another lame blog post.

Moral of the story. I have fucking lame dreams that make no fucking sense at all.

This is really a Mao Cow

And just for her, a beer lovin' cow

A poor Cow and a cute Cow

What an Emo song

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...

------------------------

As I replayed this song, I couldn't help but feel that it was strangely appropriate. It essentially stripped the dramatics away from love and distilled it into it's most essential elements, leaving one powerless and yearning to drink in the object of affection. Love in this form has transcended to become pure need that consumes. The song has such amazing lines. It's like one is feeling that strong for someone, but knowing that there are stronger, deeper feelings that no matter how much you want to hate someone, you know you never will, you just can't. It is being addicted and completely infatuated with someone, but not knowing how to let go. Being in a trance of fascination, being pulled in and wanting to get out, but not knowing how, and maybe not wanting to get out even. It’s about not having control over the situation, but wanting to gain control so badly because it’s taking over and you're sick of being so infatuated because it hurts too damn bloody much. The first time I heard this song it was in the film Closer and I just sat there, drinking in its beauty. Now when I listen to it, it actually made me cry.

This is perhaps the most apt: The shorter story, No love, no glory, No hero in her sky. When one looks back at or evaluates a (past) relationship, they usually give the version devoid of the love, emotion or passion that was once evident. It is also the most heartbreaking line depending on which side you're on. Wordplay on the film's title also relates closely to this song.

Simple yet powerful lyrics.

Gigantic List of DVDs coming to the House of Mao

I don't think I need to leave the house anytime soon once these come:

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Vanishing Point
Jaws 1-4
Jurassic Park 1-3
The Mummy 1-3
There's Something About Mary
Trainspotting
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Toy Story Boxset
Doctor Dolittle 1-3
Final Fantasy VII
Miami Vice
Deep Impact
The Interpreter
Backdraft
Snow Falling on Cedars
Thunderbirds
Inside Man
Master and Commander
Robocop
Silent Hill
Beatles Yellow Submarine
Red Dragon
Die Hard 1
About a Boy
Deathnote
Apollo 13
SWAT
ET
Jesus Christ Superstar
Armageddon
Dawn of the Dead
Road to Perdition
Shakesphere in Love
Never Say Never Again
Brokeback Mountain
LOTR 3
King Kong
King Arthur
8 Mile
The Birdcage
Intolerable Cruelty
Indiana Jones 1-3
Life is Beautiful
Calendar Girls
Munich
Cider House Rules
Blues Brothers
Dante's Peak
Meet the Parents
Blown Away
Thomas Crown Affair
Too Fast Too Furious 1-2
Pride and Prejudice
Dragonheart
Sin City
Titanic
Moulin Rouge
Speed
Seabiscuit
West Side Story
Oliver Twist
iRobot
The Holiday
Live and Let Die
Cast Away
Hulk
Hellboy
Terminator 3
Van Helsing
Casino Royale
The Day After Tomorrow
Sound of Music
Terminator 1
Die Another Day

Alfred Hitchcock Boxset
Indiana Jones Boxset
LOST Season 1
Desperate Housewives Season 1
Murder One Season 1
The Apprentice Season 1
Home Improvement Season 1-3
Bones Season 1
The entire 007 Collection

Plus 105 Code 1 DVDs (assorted)

And very possibly:

Sex and the City Season 1-6
Angel Season 1-5
Battlestar Galactica Season 2-3
Friends Season 1-10

and more if my lobang works out.